As I sit here doing my homework on a Sunday night, as usual,
I am wondering what made me decide to go back to school. I sit here and watch
my children playing in the living room as I type away at this unrelenting
keyboard in the dining room. I do my homework in the dining room so I still
feel like I am actually part of our family and so they can talk to me and ask
me questions. I don’t want to lock myself into a room and sit in peace and
quiet—that drives me batty. I love the interaction and don’t mind the noise or
interruptions. I don’t want to miss out on my children and I don’t want them to
miss me either. But even with me “being here” I am still not here. I am concentrating on what I am
going to write and not giving them my attention. They miss having mom.
I know that I am not the only working mother that is going
to school. I am not looking for a pat on the back or an “atta boy” from anyone.
I just wonder how everyone else copes with missing out on their children. I do
schedule my homework and my time with the kids but is that enough? Really? I
think about my mom who was a stayed home with me and my sister. She always had
time for us. She helped spark our imaginations, was there for any cuts or
bruises we encountered, and was as our disposal. I loved it and appreciate her
every day for it. Is this life of chaos really worth our missing out on our
greatest accomplishment—raising children? I just hope that when we all look
back we can honestly say that the gain outweighed the loss.
Chrystal, I enjoy your blog post. I do not have any kids, but I also feel that I am missing out on important family time during my time in school. This is my final semester, so I am getting anxious for graduation however I know I have a lot of final projects and studying to do before the end. After I read your blog post, I reflected on my own time in school over the years. I have missed family events, time with friends, and spent every day worrying about homework and grades because I care about my academic performance. I think all of the time spent on school will be worth it, and an education will pay off down the road. A college education can provide a job with more stability and time off on the weekends to be able to spent with family. I am thankful that I had the opportunity to go to college too, because my dad never had that option otherwise he would have. He has been my biggest supporter throughout my college education and I am thankful that he has pushed me to the finish line. I have worked full-time since graduating high school, so balancing work and school hasn't always been easy- And I do not know how you do it with kids! I love that you do your homework at the dining room table- I also do that so I don't feel like I am missing out on time with my husband. I am the type that needs peace and quiet to concentrate, so it isn't easy for me to do homework in the dining room but I do it so that my husband can see I am still present and so that I feel like I wasn't missing out on anything while I was busy studying.
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